Photosynthesizin' Blues

Lyrics © 1992 Michael Rubin
Tune by Michael Rubin, starts out mostly "Heartbreak Hotel" and winds up mostly 12-bar blues

My job at the bio department don't pay me enough to eat,
But some work with the DNA splicer shoulda had that problem beat.
I though that science had the answer but it's just got my genetics confused.
I got those photosynthesizin' ain't all it's cracked up to be blues.

I got chlorophyll in my skin cells, the botany is keen,
But let me tell you brother, it ain't easy being green.
I need to snack on fertilizer for the nitrogen and phosphates that I use.
I got those photosynthesizin' can be a pile of horseshit blues.

Now that I'm partly vegetable I could be a manager,
But having to stay in the sun all day kills that idea fer sure.
If I hung a dozen grow-lights on the ceiling I would just blow a fuse.
I got those photosynthesizers can't work in the office blues.

Well I think I'll move to L.A. for the CO₂ and sunlight,
And I'll find me a vegetarian girl who'll eat me every night.
Yeah, we'll put down roots and tell all the ecologists the news,
And give them photosynthesizin' turns them green with envy blues.